


honesty

by mnccys



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Anxiety, Comedian Richie Tozier, Coming Out, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Emetophobia, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Established Relationship, Fear, Gay Richie Tozier, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 12:55:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20742542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mnccys/pseuds/mnccys
Summary: Richie Tozier returns to the stage after about a year of radio silence. His audience is expecting the same old routine. Richie's prepared something a little different.[or: in which Richie decides he doesn't want to hide behind humor anymore, and, with the support of his best friends and his boyfriend, comes out as gay to the public.]





	honesty

**Author's Note:**

> so originally this was gonna be written without Eddie in it but my poor little gay heart couldn't handle it so I made him alive again.
> 
> so, whatever your favorite universe is in which Eddie lives, that's where this is based. enjoy!

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage; Richie Tozier!"

Richie swallowed the last bit of doubt left in his brain and took the first step onto the stage, trusting his muscle memory to do the rest of the work for him. The lights hit his face, and the crowd cheered loudly.

He waved, trying to hide the fact that his hands were shaking. He reached the mic, and took a deep breath.

"Hey everyone. Thanks for coming." He was barely heard over the cheering crowd. They were eager tonight. "Been a while, huh?"

That earned a few laughs. He hasn't stepped foot on stage for almost a year. "God, it feels like a fever dream just being up here. This must be what Linda Hamilton felt like while shooting for the new Terminator movie."

More laughs. Richie pulled his best impression of the actress, drawing his eyebrows together and scanning the room. "Like;  _ didn't I do this already? Why am I here again? _ "

More laughter. Richie smiled to himself and allowed himself to relax a bit.

"No but seriously, thanks for all your support and your kind words, I appreciate it very much. Thank you." A few more people clapped. Richie paused. "I've gotten so many messages and emails asking where I've been, if I'm okay. Even letters, too. Some with carrier pigeons attached. Really, thank you."

"Now, a lot of you have been asking me where I've been and what I've been up to. But, uh, most of you are probably like;  _ wait, who is this guy again? _ "

"Some of you are probably expecting some epic story or tragic family emergency or something, but I'm here to tell you that you're about to be very disappointed." The audience laughed. Some  _ awe'd _ . He rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on. I'm not putting my whole life out there, I'm not a Kardashian. Cut me some slack. I'm not that interesting. ... _ What, no juicy drama?! That's the whole reason I came here!" _

"No, but uh, tonight's also probably not gonna be the same old stand up routine, either. Now the rest of you are about to be disappointed." More laughter. "... _ What, no dick jokes?! That's the whole reason I came here! _ "

"Bottom line is… I'm here tonight because, obviously, I want to continue doing shows and all that, of course, but I'm also sort of turning over a new leaf. Lots of stuff has happened recently and while I want to continue my comedy career, I'm also trying to live my life without hiding behind comedy. I'm trying to be more honest with myself. More brave."

The audience falls mostly silent. He looks to his left and sees the stage crew looking at him funny. Among them is his producer, looking at him with a threat in his eyes. Then he scans the front row of the crowd and sees the Losers, looking at him with pride in their eyes. Support. Love. He chose to focus on them.

"Yeah, so, uh, this might be a different show that you're expecting. If you're here for dick jokes and dick jokes only, then, sorry, go watch rick and morty or something. I don't know." A couple people laughed. Then they fell silent again. Richie took a deep breath. 

"The truth is, I visited my hometown recently. I grew up in a place called Derry in Maine. Super small place. Very old fashioned. Horrible place to grow up, really. But, um, that's also where I met some very close friends that would forever hold a place in my heart. One in particular." He looked at the front row, making eye contact with Eddie. His eyes sparkled, he could see it even from on stage. "They were the only people that showed any kind of compassion. They taught me how to be brave. And they taught me how to accept myself."

The crowd was mostly quiet. Some people were talking or whispering. Some people were even getting up and leaving, but mostly, they were entranced. Richie took another deep breath.

"When I was 13, I knew I was gay." A few people gasped. The talking got a bit louder. Richie continued despite it all. "I never accepted it until recently, but that's when I knew. I, um… it…."

Richie could feel the tears prickling at his eyes for a moment. Then a person, way in the back, cheered for him. Only for a split second, but it made his heart stop. Then another person, more toward the left. Then ten more people. Then even more. Until he was grinning ear to ear. 

"Thank you. Really. Thank-" his voice wobbled. He bit his lip. He looked down at the first row and saw all five the Losers standing in their seats, screaming and clapping for him. He leaned his forehead against the microphone, reaching up to wipe his eyes. Just about the entire audience was cheering for him now. The joy that bubbled under his skin was too much to contain. He let himself cry for a few seconds as the audience sent forth wave after wave of support.

"Jesus, maybe this is the Kardashians." He laughed, wiping another year away dramatically, pulling an exaggerated expression that resembled Kim's crying face. The audience laughed with him. He could hear Beverley shout something like " _ we love you! _ " which made him smile even more, if possible.

He looked at Eddie in the front seat, who was currently under the arm of Mike as he sobbed in his hand. He looked at Richie and smiled so brightly, Richie swore the image would be burned on the back of his eyelids for eternity. Somewhere deep inside of him, a weight was lifted. A 27 year old knot was untangled, and he felt light dripping from every pore of him. It was almost more than he could handle.

But with the support of his friends, he could handle anything.

"Anyways…" he said, finally, after about a minute of just cheering. "I can make gay jokes now, right? I get the pass?"

They laughed. Richie felt like he earned it.

For the rest of the set, he continued to talk about his friends. His family. His hometown. He talked about the importance of having loving people in his life. He talked about how he dealt with bullying as a child. He made a couple more jokes about Linda Hamilton. A few gay jokes that he'd been waiting to tell for at least a decade. 

He didn't talk about Eddie. Didn't tell any of their stories, not just yet. That was for another show. As soon as Eddie came to terms with the fact that everyone at the office would never leave him alone once Richie said his name on stage.

For now, he stuck with childhood stories and Kim Kardashian impressions.

  
  


-

  
  


By the time he said "that's all, thank you, good night" the people cheered louder than any other show in the past. He walked offstage, feeling lighter than he ever had in his life.

He blew right past his producer, who was talking so fast he couldn't understand him. Saying something like, "What the hell was that?! I didn't ask for a TED talk, I wanted a fucking stand up show!! Nobody asked for your life story!"

He wasn't listening to him. He kept walking toward his dressing room, eyes glazed over. He was vaguely aware of a good amount of the crew members cheering for him. Some of them patted him on the back. His brain started to feel like fuzz.

"Great job out there, Rich." One of them said. 

"Yeah!" Said another. "Takes a lot of guts to-"

" _ Richie _ !"

He looked to his left and saw his friends barreling toward him. A couple people in black shirts tried to stop them, but Beverley came steamrolling right through them. She ran straight into Richie's arms.

"You did fantastic!!!" she said, squeezing him tightly. He swallowed, beginning to see stars.

"We're so proud of you, man!!" Said Mike, joining Beverly in what was quickly becoming a group hug. Bill and Ben joined afterwards. 

"We knew you had it in you, buddy." said Bill. "Great job out there."

"Thanks, man." Richie said, already out of breath. Beverly pulled away for a moment, assessing his face. 

"You okay, Rich?" she asked. "You look pale."

"M'gud." he managed, before doubling over and vomiting on Ben's leather shoes.

They all backed a good amount of feet away after that. Mike patted his back as he leaned on his knees and gasped for breath.

"Just… just let it out, dude…" he said, looking away.

"I'll get some paper towels." Beverly said to Ben, who looked like he was trying to count to ten.

Then came Eddie, rushing in through a barrage of black-shirted crew members. "Richie!! There you are, my God, I thought I'd never get through. How--  _ Jesus Christ. _ "

Eddie stopped dead in his tracks as Richie looked up, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. "Hi, honey." he said in a hoarse voice. Eddie gagged. 

"Oh… God." He looked away. Ben sighed. 

"Just give him a minute." He said, still refusing to look down and assess the damage done to his shoes.

"S-sorry." Richie managed, just as Beverly made it back with some paper towels. Someone with a black shirt handed a water bottle to Richie. Mike continued patting his back as he took an ungraceful swig, spilling some on his shirt in the process. "...Think this is my body's way of dealing with shock or something. Dunno."

"S'fine…" said Eddie, summoning all his strength not to throw up as well. He looked at Richie instead and smiled a tight but genuine smile. "I'm proud of you, Richie."

Richie smiled. "Thanks, Eds. Couldn't have done it without you. Without any of you guys."

The six of them shared looks of love and support. Bill ruffled his hair. Beverly leaned her head on his shoulder. Mike patted him on the back again. Eddie leaned in ever so carefully and placed a feather-light kiss on his lips.

"What, no tongue?" Richie said. Beverly snorted.

Eddie shuddered. "Not until we get you home and cleaned up, trashmouth."

The Losers closed in again and wrapped Richie in another group hug. He put his head on Eddie's shoulder and sighed, feeling the love radiating from every direction.

From outside the circle, people in black shirts are fighting off media representatives and flashing cameras. People with headsets are running frantically between rooms. Richie's manager is screaming into the phone about something. 

But the Losers didn't care. They kept holding Richie as he let the tears fall freely.

**Author's Note:**

> featuring my poor attempts at writing stand up comedy


End file.
